Marry+SocialNeed != Marriage

One fine morning, on waking up you realize its time for marriage. Or it could be that your overbearing uncle or aunt reminds you of your age. Or you are constantly reminded of the benefits of a married life and the problems of a late marriage etc. These are common scenarios relating to igniting the marital thoughts.

So if you do not have a lover and you haven't thought about getting married, what could that mean?

- You are not in a position to settle down

- You are not willing to take upon the responsibility of starting a family yet

- You are more focussed on your career

- You are gay

- You do not want to have your patience tested, towards adjusting forever

- You do not believe in the institution of marriage

- There's no such thing as true love (its just a passing thought about falling in it)

- There is no finding a perfect partner

- Monogamy could be very boring

Question: When is it the right time, and what exactly is the act of marrying someone

The right time is the time of settling down. By settling down, I mean not buying a house, a car or having a steady job - its finding the right companionship. The right companionship results from the "mating of thoughts", which then gives way to defining it as 'love'.

Does that mean that if the "mating of thoughts" match takes place at age 7, its okay to settle down? I guess not, as one is not an adult yet. Hence after turning 18 and with the matching of thoughts, that could be okay.

Setting a time factor and hurrying towards committing will definitely not help. Neither will searching for true love by committing first.

Okay, we are half way there. Now then, what is the act of marrying someone. It would be to experience the depth in the companionship by taking it to the next level. Being called a husband and wife; the feeling of wanting to bear children as a result of that bonding. It is this that should be the basis for the act of marrying, which is completed by marriage.

Let me contrast my viewpoint with what happens in society today by stating that:

 'Performing the act of marrying someone only to address social need, is not in its entirety, marriage'.

Case 1:  Arranged marriage -> Settle down -> Love -> Have kids -> Match thoughts (.. not fully matching) -> Divorce or carry on for the sake of whoever

Case 2:  Love (or, so one believes) -> Love marriage -> Settle down -> Have kids -> Match thoughts (er, not fully matching) -> Divorce or carry on for the sake of whoever

Case 3: Like + Love -> Arranged Love marriage -> Settle down -> Have kids -> Match thoughts (er, again not fully matching) -> Divorce or carry on for the sake of whoever

My view:  Mating of thoughts -> Companionship -> Love -> Settle down -> Marriage -> Have kids -> Experience the family living

Did you notice the slight difference?!  The difference lies in not hurrying towards marriage and experiencing the mating of thoughts deeply, before moving ahead.

I can hear your questions pouring - will this guarantee a satisfactory married life. Let me put forward a quote by Osho and allow you to be your best judge:

"No man understands the woman, no woman understands the man, and that is the beauty of their being together"