(ABCD)*
Coconut
The above are terms that are used to refer to South Asian Americans born
in the US of Indian(Asian) origin, contrasting those born overseas,
later settled in US and against those who are brown from the outside,
but white inside settled outside US.
Okay,
now that is confusing. Did I miss out on any further permutation?
-
Those who shovel and those with guns.
-
Those who like Beatles and those who like Elvis.
-
Those who think there are two kinds and those who don't ...
and it goes on.
Then
again, There are three kinds of people in the world :
-
Those who can count and those who can't.
Enough
of fooling around, I am not starting with any count - nor am I asking
you to give a damn. But I can't help but be curious about my very own
confusion; as to which category of the above mentioned terms (ABCD,
CAD etc) do I belong.
If
a person is born outside US, but is Americanized - he is a CAD.
If
a person in born within US, but is in a half baked
Indianized-Americanized state (ie, confused) - he is an ABCD.
Those
who are born within US and cool about it (no confusion) - K-Z.
Those
who are brown from the outside, white inside (born wherever, does it
matter?) - the general coconut
kind.
Grouping
people born outside their homeland (India) as a kind, and figuring
that they will go through the confusion as they acclimatize
themselves. The same with the genes of those born in the homeland,
as they get genetically stained while they mate with 'Land
of the melting pots'.
Slightly
shifting focus onto another pack of people - say those born in the
seventies or eighties. These guys absolutely love that particular
era, like no others. That was a time of settling and stabilizing
after the wars and also lot of innovation happening. Folks before
their generation can be categorized as 'old
school'
- not used to the gadgets and that sort of technology. Then came the
generation of today, termed as 'new-gen',
who live life as if from a sci-fi movie with technology doing most of
the thinking and acting.
The
gap between the 'old school' and the 'new-gen' got so wide, they are
like two species (one of them alien to the other). In between the
old-school and new-gen comes the in-between folks; let me call
them the vintage
(70s/80s) edition.
Getting
back to the topic - let us consider the vintage folks, who can
literally dissolve their attitude with both (old-school and new-gen)
these patterned people. Would they be confused, or capable of
adapting their colors at ease, according to the situation. Also these
vintage folks have ABCD and CADs classification amongst them.
Not digging any further to alleviate, and save the brain cells from
irreparable damage.
Quoting a dialogue from a Bollywood mass entertainer in which the hero stifles the villain:
“Main Tumhare Andar Itne Ched Karoonga Ki Tumhe Pata Bhi Nahi Chalega Ki Kis Ched Se Saans Le Aur Kis Ched Se Paden.”
(I
am going to make so many holes in you that you'd be confused as to
which hole to breathe and which to fart)
An
absolute cracker in the class of poor-jokes (vulgar too); but with
all the confusion I probably got you into with the categories, if it
is of any consolation - all that matters really is to just breathe
normally (the right hole) and forget that you ever got, is or
will be confused.
PS:
(ABCD)*
where
'*' can be any number from 0 to n
In
my case, n=2 (clearing the air and breathing
normally).
